Here are 10 reasons why city men should marry a village belle…
1. Cheap at half price
For a few cows as bride price plus erecting a water tank for her mother might see you getting a wife who is not interested in Pizza Fridays, Brazilian weaves, ‘Camera One’ mtumba and who drinking like a fish.
You can start life in a single room in Huruma with a meko and her prayers.
2. They know their place
Unlike city lasses who know Fida offices whenever you question their coming home from mugithi sessions at devil hours, the girl from Igamba Ng’ombe knows she’s the neck holding the husband’s head.
They respect and serve their men just like the bible says. Little wonder urbanites end up marrying their house helps brought from the village.
3. Indoors mwisho!
City slay queens can hardly tulia indoors on any weekend. What with all the reggae artistes coming to town? She will go partying and dance till she drops which is one sure sign of potential wife to avoid.
City lasses are lazy and can hardly do any housework without Mama Fua. The village is the exact opposite, preferring not to loiter, but watch Naija films with names like “I want to eat your Mother.”
4. Mke Nyumbani
City lasses have zero cooking skills owing to poor upbringing with mboches all year round. The only cooking they know is boiling water or warming junk in the microwave.
Marry one and you will eat supermarket ready-mades until retirement. But the village will ensure you eat ugali and kienyeji veges like saga and kunde.
5. No Runaway Brides
City lasses are fond of kufagilia Boy Child nyumba, running away leaving with even light bulbs.
The village girl knows how steep the hills of Murang’a are, she learnt that during the years she fetched water from River Mathioya. She will persevere with the humility of the biblical Job!
6. Village is home too
City women have problems surviving in the village even during Christmas day, but the village girl is home with cow jelly, granaries and nduma and ngwaci for breakfast.
7. Populating mother earth
City slay queens even when the biological clock is ticking towards fibroids and other medical complications are not moved to getting preggers.
What with missing all the reggae concerts? Village girls give birth in the first six months of marriage allowing you to “funga chapter” mapema!
8. Hustlers for life
Unlike city lasses waiting for sponsors to upgrade their lifestyles and water dispenser tenders from Water Ministry, the village girl is at home operating the estate grocery, salon and sourcing samosa customers online.
9. Mwanamke ni effort
Most have been raised in hardship areas and can withstand surviving on ugali kavu and trekking five kilometers to save on bus fare. But a city slay queen will demand you fuel her 1000cc car for her to come for a date!
10. Staying power
City slay queens “don’t know God” and will dump you if you dare lose your job or anything affecting spending your money. But the village girl knows marriage is for better or for worse, in sickness and health unlike city girl who think it’s till wealth do us part!